Dealing With the Heartache of Ukraine
The following is a copy of the article I wrote for the March 24th edition of the North River News entitled, Dealing With the Heartache of Ukraine.
Perhaps you have also found yourself limiting the amount of the news you watch. The coverage of the war in Ukraine and the human suffering and senseless destruction is so overwhelming. Folks have shared with me their intense feelings of outrage, pain and helplessness. I easily identify with them. Although we see with our eyes and hear with our ears, the news is so awful it seems unreal and unbelievable. At the same time, the saying that “War is hell” has become all too real. Must we be trapped in this quagmire of painful feelings and contradictions? The answer is no! There are things we can do!
Denying this evil war and the suffering and destruction it is causing is not even a remotely realistic option. Anyway, denial, inevitably only hides the pain and other feelings for a while. And when they come back, as they always do, they return with a vengeance.
There are three important things we can do. The first is to acknowledge this war is traumatizing us as well, even though we are seemingly safe, thousands of miles from the heart of the conflict and human suffering. If you have found yourself saying something like, “I can’t imagine what it would be like to… (be bombed, say goodbye to your husband, wife, children, not have heat or water etc.) then you know something of the trauma of this evil war. Granted it is not at the same level of the people of Ukraine, but it is traumatizing none the less. Admitting this to ourselves is empowering and healing.
The second thing we can do is to make sure we take care of ourselves. Remember flight attendants always tell parents to put their masks on first before helping their children. If we do not take care of ourselves, we are not going to be able to help others. No exceptions. For me this involves four things: regular exercise, eating healthy foods, prayer, and meditation. I make sure there is time in every day for these. I have found my daily walk renews both body and mind. The same can be said for eating healthy foods. My prayer time gives me the opportunity to share my outrage, helplessness, anger and more with God. It also gives me the chance to listen for God’s wisdom and guidance. Lastly, meditation helps me quiet my spirit and allows stress to be released instead of doing its damage within.
The third thing is to give money to help alleviate the tragic and immense suffering. Personally, I have found the church to be the best channel but there are other ways like the Red Cross and UNICEF. There are likely good ways that are available on social media, but I would avoid them since this is also the arena for the scammers and con artists. To receive the biggest “heart and spirit” benefit, make your gift significant, maybe even sacrificial. You’ll be glad you did.
Acknowledging our trauma, Self-Care, and Giving are important ways we can make a difference.
Grace and Peace, John